question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
im holly from the hills drunk
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
