What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
