On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
