it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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