i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
