"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
