i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
