I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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