i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize