glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
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