before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
