Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
This is classic penis vs brain.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
My life is pants optional.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize