Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
