he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
