i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
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