Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
