We're facebook friends in real life
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
