his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
i out mim tonsoeep
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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