"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
