just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
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