if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
