he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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