I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
