My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
