i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
