The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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