Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
