no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
