Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
My breasts were aching with rage.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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