Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
