Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
