What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
