Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
