Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
