well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize