32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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