we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
