literally had 100 drinks last night.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
