You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
