i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
