Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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