His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
