youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
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