So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
