i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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