playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Randomize
