can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
