oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Randomize
