So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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