I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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