Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize