do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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