I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
