but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
