i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
