I just pynch a tree in the face
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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