my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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