Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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