I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize