im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize