Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
