You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
