sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
